Life.

Here I am again, in the part that I always hate. The part of intense pain, never ending tears and the continuous playing of sad love songs. But this time it’s different. This time it’s a different kind of guy. A guy that I thought would be well, in my terms.. perfect. He was weird, crazy, funny and super random.. like me. He loved things that I loved and it was like he was the male version of me. He was awesome. I told him everything, even the my deepest darkest secrets that I’ve never told anyone. I felt like he was the only one who would ever understand me. For the first time, I’ve never felt so alone in the world. To come to think that before I got to know him deeply I’ve already known him by afar. He was my biggest crush in school. He was always so perfect in my eyes and knowing him more just made him unreal. I really can’t say that I love him, nor can I even say that I’m in love but I know that there’s something about him that I really can’t explain. The time I’ve spent with him, as short as it is will always be a part of me and it is something that would be dreadful for me to forget. With him I felt happy. I felt like I was with the guy of my dreams, my prince charming. But unfortunately, you’ll wake up and life begins. I miss him like crazy, my heart feels like it’s gonna throw up and I have this urge to go far far away. “Asa pa ako” that he feels the same way. “Asa pa ako” that he cares about what I’m going through now. “Asa pa ako” that I even made an impact to his life and “Asa pa ako” that he’s even thinking of me now. So yeah, I really hate this part. The part where I cry my heart out. The part that I sing all the sad songs. The part where I drink like there’s no tomorrow. The part where I’ll be bitter with every freakin’ happy couple that I see and the part where I try to forget him. But, the real hard part is how would you forget someone that is exactly like you and how would you forget the only person that you’ve ever considered “perfect”. I can’t even drink my favorite drink without thinking about him. This is the hardest part. This is the most painful part. The part of letting go of the only person you know that will make you happy.